Lost and Confused
by blackturtlefoil
Summary: Basically... Ginny and Hermione both are troubled about something growing inside of them(eventually)…but what happens when the one person who could help neither can’t turn to? RR, please! Femslash. non-smut, as far as the plot poppers tell me!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: um, ya. My Disclaimer is such: All characters belong to the beloved J.K. Rowling so you can't sue me! I don't recall in my brain any original characters who are going to make an appearance, but if that changes, well if you know HP you know who's mine and who's not. You're hopefully smart enough =P Mostly: NOT MINE! HERS! Thanx  
  
Summary: well, summaries aren't my bright spot but basically Ginny and Hermione are both troubled about something growing inside of them...but what happens when the one person who /could/ help neither can't turn to? R/R  
  
WARNING: it is R, mostly for language, if you're searching for smut, you wont find it right off the bat. You might not even find it, because this is FAR from PWP. But who knows? ME =D but that's okay, because I'm not sure yet either! Enjoy. And just a reminder, this story is labeled DRAMA also, and for a reason, so if you're looking for a perfect thing going on between the two Gryffindors, then turn your curser around and hit the back button now. Thanx =D  
  
-Gem (aka Korie)  
  
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Chapter 1  
  
Virginia Weasley lie in wake allowing the watchful beams of moonlight bathe over her as she stared at the stars, from her bed, out her window. It was the summer after her fourth year, and currently there was but a month left before September the first. Harry and Hermione had arrived at The Burrow yesterday afternoon to stay for the rest of the summer holidays. Hermione was sound asleep next to her, her back faced the door of Ginny's bedroom.  
  
She concluded it must have been nearly midnight, and yet she was wide awake. Sighing as she thought of Harry, she could suppress the smile draw to her face. He had defiantly filled out, girls would be ALL over him next year. She couldn't help but laugh at her 14 year old self at being so foolish keeping after him for all these years when she knew she could never have him.  
  
She'd slightly gotten over this fact and learned to laugh at herself and control her emotions. At first, she had cried over it. A lot. She thought she'd been in love. She figured she was wrong, now. She didn't like him anymore, she was now his friend. Yes she did love him, but not as she thought she had. She thought of him as a brother. Thinking of the conversation they had had earlier this year, during school, had only left her thoughts relieved, now.  
  
/flashback/  
  
"Ginny?" Harry said, grabbing her forearm stopping her from walking into the Great Hall with Hermione, Ron, and Neville. Her deep blue eyes met brilliant green, smiling at him. "We need to talk," he stated.  
"All right," she answered, her smile fading a little. "We'll meet up with you guys later!" she called to the others.  
"Okay," said Hermione, winking.  
Ginny rolled her eyes and followed Harry away from the Great Hall. A right, a left, another left, right, left, right, right, and finally Harry opened a door and lead Ginny in, swishing his wand, commanding lights.  
"Ginny," he started. But he couldn't continue...he was a little lost for correct words, even though he'd tried to practice.  
"Yes, Harry?" she looked at him sincerely, her head cocked to the side a little  
"Ginny, I - I want to tell you something...but I don't know how to say it..."  
"Harry, you're m-my friend, you can tell me anything."  
" Well, I really don't want to say this but I think I have to..." he grasped desperately for polite words, his green eyes flickering up to her blue one every now and then, otherwise staring at his fidgeting hands. She nodded. "Ginny, I - I understand that you've liked me, it's not new news...but, it will, never - well, um, I mean to say-" her slight smile was slowly vanishing. Sighing, he took her smaller hands gently into his looking into her eyes, searching there for the right words. "I mean to say that Ginny, I love you, you're like a sister I never knew I had, but that's part of the reason I can't be with you. I don't want to see you get hurt, and most of all by me." Repeating the words over in his head he was sure that was all right. His emerald eyes were now staring into her sapphires, which were now sparkling with moisture which was glistening in her eyes and on her cheeks.  
She avoided eye contact with him any longer, weeping. She was shaking with a sadness she never knew before...she would have never fallen in love if she knew it would come to this. She felt like an idiot, crying in front of him. She couldn't stand it anymore...she fled. Hysterical with emotion she burst from the room and ran. Ran as far away from Harry as she could. He was calling after her and she didn't care. She just ran. Ran away from everything.  
  
/end flashback/  
  
Sadness touched Ginny only for a moment, recalling what she felt, which she now knew as nothing like love. 'That can't possibly be love, when you can just forget like I have.' She told herself. 'but have you really forgotten?' another part of her asked. She pondered for a moment, contemplating whether she really had. 'Yes.' She finally replied, never so sure of herself before in her life. She knew she didn't love him.  
Lately she had been feel weird, though. A light emptiness creeping inside of her...that she wasn't sure what to make out of it. But, slowly she felt the night grasp her, eyelids finally began to droop and relaxing into the warmth of her old bed. She smiled, despite it all. Harry was her friend, she didn't carelessly love him anymore, nor did she think she ever truly loved him. 'Besides,' she thought, turning over to face Hermione's back, 'Ron kicked his ass!' Smiling, she drifted to sleep, however she still couldn't shake the feeling that for some reason something inside of her was materializing. Something she couldn't understand.  
  
_______________________________  
  
Mrs. Weasley rose them the next morning, fussing over breakfast and yelled something about a cockroach in the eggs, in what sounded like it was coming from Fred and Georges' room.  
  
Hermione was slightly shaking Ginny, whos eyes were creeping open, filling with the light of the room pouring in from the window. "Gin, you gotta wake up! We're going to Diagon Ally today!" She was already fully dressed in a red sweater and what looked like a white t-shirt underneath and a pair of old jeans. Warmly smiling at her friend as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, Hermione slipped out the door, shutting it behind her so Ginny could dress, heading downstairs to grab a piece of toast.  
  
Ginny lazily flumped out of bed, padding across the room to rummage through her drawers for some warm clothes. A few minutes later she was walking down the stairs, pulling a dark blue sweatshirt sloppily over her head. Accepting the toast that was pushed into her hand by her mother as she threw a bit of floo powder into the fireplace, stepping in. "Diagon Ally!" she said clearly. And she was gone.  
  
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A/N: short chapter, I'm sry! They'll be longer ones to come, I promise! Hopefully I'll scrape some *great* reviewers up!   
  
R/R PLEASE! 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: wow I got reviews already! And from some of my favourite authors too! I'm happy, I feel like writing :-D you people get more now! I own nothing!  
  
oh, yeah and a note I forgot to make: I'm a huge fan of HP I'm probably read the series ten times now and am WELL aware that Harry never went out with Ginny yet, and so on and so forth. And keep in mind that this next year at Hogwarts, Ginny's 5th year...is indeed Harry's 6th. I've read up on some great starting fics on the 6th book, but I'm just gonna keep mine as simple as a normal school year, as if Voldy isn't back or something I dunno - maybe I'll throw something in, we'll see what the plot poppers say... But right now they say: ON WITH THE STORY!  
  
NOTE: Oh yeah and ff.net is being stupid and not putting in new paragraphs properly so they're all spacey now...  
  
/*IMPORTANT!!!*/: Oh and another thing – this is a repost in a way – this chapter two...I posted the other one the other day – omg I feel so sorry about that – really I do. So stupid! I wrote that when I had NOTHING to write about...so I did delete it and now I'm fixing it. I don't even know why I posted it...i knew I did nothing in it but crap. So anyway I apologize for the two reviews who had to read that! :-P Plus I made a year mistake – in chapter one I believe I said the summer after Ginny's fourth year meaning the trio's 6th year coming up – so yeah. I never intended for Neville to be a prefect anyway. My poor reviews probably think I'm a loser now *weeps*.  
  
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Chapter 2  
  
They spent the rest of the warm, August day getting school supplies and gocking at random new items in the stores along the streets of Diagon Alley. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had split up from the others to go have a look in Quality Quiddich Supplies, promising to meet up at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor before going back to the Burrow.  
  
They walked in out of the slight breeze, bell chiming at the top of the door, announcing their entrance. Ron and Harry immediately rushed over to the newest broom in stock (/The Lightening Bolt/) to gock at it's perfectly manicured twig tail and waxed ash handhold. Hermione, who had found a few, small, leather bound book with "Quidditch Though The Ages" embroidered in gold on the cover, and was flipping through, stopping for a moment to read a bit of "Chapter Four: The Arrival of the Golden Snitch" with a funny drawing of the small, plump-looking Snidget bird. Harry and Ron were talking excessively of the easiness of the new /Lightening Bolt/ and discussing and trading information they knew, nodding and making exciting motions.  
  
Hermione placed the worn leather book back in the small stack. Ginny was wondering around looking at different snitch models and bludger bats, listening to Harry and Ron ramble on no end about the new broomstick. Hermione watched her for a moment, wondering around the room.  
  
She'd grown up a whole lot – all most overnight – she was beautiful. Her hair was beyond shoulder length and slightly wavy. Her skin had gotten tanner, and her eyes a deeper blue...seemingly almost slightly purple that matched beautifully with her red, brown, golden hair that sheeted over her dark blue sweatshirt, matching her eyes.  
  
Hermione shook her head, tearing her eyes away form her best friends' sister. 'Was I just /thinking/ about Ginny? No...I couldn't have. ...Probably just my imagination...' her thoughts were interrupted by the store clerk coming up to them with a jumpy smile.  
  
"Can I help you with anything?" the wizard asked, beaming at Ron and Harry.  
  
Hermione cut them off before they could ask a price – even though they knew they couldn't afford it. "No, but thank you we must be heading back," she smiled as he nodded.  
  
Ron glanced at the clock with an "oh..." and they headed out. ------------------  
  
Hermione spent most of the long summer days talking with Ginny in her room while Ron and Harry played Quiddich with everybody else. They laughed and joked and told stories – pretty much anything that came up about school, friends, news...anything. Hermione thought at first Ginny was just a young slightly annoying girl but she grew to be one of the best friends she ever had – aside from Ron and Harry.  
  
Ginny talked a lot about how she didn't really care for any of the boys at Hogwarts – they were not all that great. Hermione expressed that she agreed, most of them were self-centered idiots walking around in the dark. Also Ginny believe part of the reason she didn't like them is because they never liked her, she thought she was never very pretty at all and went mostly unnoticed or uncared for except by some of her friends.  
  
Hermione had stood up for her then...she had said, "Ginny if they got to know you they'd see what a wonderful person you were."  
  
Ginny thought of Hermione as one of her only truer friends. Nobody else had spent this much time with her ever or talked as long as they had. They compared to a lot of things...getting to know each other more and more.  
  
And more and more both felt a connection like never before when one was with the other. The end of the summer was nearing and between swimming and talking and laughing and just hanging out, they both found a true friend in the other.  
  
'The next year at Hogwarts would be fun with Ginny around more,' thought Hermione. 'She's not like Lavender or Parvati.'  
  
************************************************************************  
  
September the first approached and as they all passed through the boarder between platforms nine and ten, the excitement of a new school year was buzzing around the witches and wizards around them, loading the Hogwarts Express.  
  
"Hey guys!" came a voice behind them.  
  
Neville was running up to them. "Hey Neville!" they shouted back, waving. The Hogwarts Express whistle blew from the already billowing clouds of smoke and they clambered onto the bus and into a compartment.  
  
"Bye Mrs. Weasley!" Hermione and Harry shouted out the window as the others waved and Neville was said his good-bye to his Grandma as the train picked up into motion. They were off.  
  
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~  
  
A/N: Am I jumping into feelings too quick? =S I did fix the chapter up a bit and I hope it's not as terribly sucky as the other one I stupidly posted.  
  
Again I apologize for the readers who read that and stuff. I'm kinda mad at myself but I hope this one's okay but I guess I was just hyper after the party and excited I had already gotten reviews and yeah so sorry again.  
  
R/R please !!! 


	3. note from the notsuchagoodauthor

A/N chappie:  
  
well those were reviews confusing. Some say I was going to fast some say too slow...holey hell. /I/ think I'm going to fast and it's not fun to read at all I probably wouldn't review for a story like this...well I normally do anyway but I'd be nice for nice's sakes...I don't know. It's hard to do because the reason I started this story is because I wanted to get something out though a character maybe I shouldn't have started with somthing that would be hard to write for me...perhaps I should restart it from a better stand point...  
  
Hence why I'm posponing writing seeing as it's impossible for my to conjure up stuff. I think I want review weather to continue this to the best I can (which isn't good for me...) or to restart with a good stand point I can go after. I dunno maybe I'm wimping out. Perhaps I am =) but I don't have the pacients of a writer I supposed. I envy all of you tanlented writers from this kind of thing.  
  
Maybe I'll keep this one going and start a new one or just leave this one and not do anything is morelikely laughs man, I AM pathetic, huh?  
  
But still thanks to all who did actually review this...pretty crappy start to a fanfic. I give you all cake and cookies starts passing them out.  
  
REVIEW ON THIS PLEASE!!! Thanks. 


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